Good mom?
Bad Mom?
Good Mom?
Bad Mom?
Do you ever feel as though you are the ping pong ball in a heated match bouncing from feeling like a good mom to a bad mom constantly. I mean CONSTANTLY!
One minute I have a great discussion where my child finally gets it... GOOD MOM!
The next I get an e-mail from a teacher that lists the three parents who have yet to turn in that permission slip and I am on the list for all the world to see... BAD MOM!
I calmly handle the stresses of the morning routine... GOOD MOM!
Blake cries as I strap him in the bus, I sit on my front porch and cry too BAD MOM!
But then during the afternoon homework session, my child's irresponsibility over a last minute project just about sends me over the edge. I find my neck muscles tensing and my voice rising... BAD MOM!
I make sure they pack something healthy for snack... GOOD MOM!
The schedule falls apart in the late after noon and I wind up feeding them sugar cereal for dinner... BAD MOM! (oops did this last week too, DOUBLE BAD MOM!)
Sometimes I feel like that ping pong ball mom bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad.
Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table after getting everyone where they needed to be and cried. Yup, right there in the shadow of my flowers, big ol' tears flowed.
Sometimes having kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Other days I feel like the task of parenting little people is driving me to the brink of craziness. I've had some seizures this week, some mighty fine, gonna need another MRI to find out what is going on again, kind of seizures...the ones that kick my butt and leave me in la la land...the ones that leave me an emotional mess wondering how my husband still loves me even through these storms...anyway, so I digress.
Anything I do right as a mom, is because of my constant dialogs with God.
Anything I do wrong as a mom, is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.
That's were Grace steps in. And I need lots of grace. God's grace steps in says, "Kendrah, you are doing better than you think. Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank me. In the not so good times, call out to me quickly."
And suddenly it occurred to me, with God I'm never a bad mom. I might be having a bad moment... or two... or seventeen. But a few bad moments does not define me as a bad mom.
God's grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.
Forgiveness is there.
Love is there.
A second chance for this minute... this interaction with my child... this temper that started to flare... is there.
Psalm 73: 26, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
You are a good mom my friend...even if like me you've had a few bad moments... you are still a good mom. Let's live in that truth today.
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6 comments:
you are a great mom who juggles so much. and still makes time for her friends. Kennedy shared with us the seizure you had the other night that woke up everyone from you falling in the bathroom, we were just so thankful that you were ok and Brian was home. PLEASE call if you need anything. Nikki
Amen Kendra! I have so been there and you have the added stress of being sick. I love what you put here:
Anything I do right as a mom, is because of my constant dialogs with God.
Anything I do wrong as a mom, is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.
Keep the dialog with God open. Keep reading His word! The Psalms are such a wonderful place to go for peace, and to show that others struggle and God comforted them too!
As far as your husband, it's the same thing that Steve once said to me: "God made me addicted to You". I think that is so cool! God made Brian addicted to you! He loves you with a love that cannot always be explained but is something to revel in. Just as we are addicted to our men! Is that great!
Oh and yesterday one of my status' on facebook dealt with the very topic of God not keeping records.
When do you have your MRI?
Kendrah - this is an awesome post. I think all Moms know that feeling, and God gave you some amazing insight. Thanks for sharing it!
Kendrah ~ you are such a treasure!!
Please know that you're not alone in those ping-pong moments!! As moms I think we've all been there - maybe even are frequent flyers!!! :o)
Continue to gain strength from God and He will see you through!!
~Amy
thanks everyone! your comments help mend my heart. :) I love my blogger friends.
Awesome :)
Part of being a mom is learning to deal with the ping pong moments, lol.
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