December 2007 Archieve

December 31
Phone Call.....recent update.
DeYoung line: Hello??
Mrs. DeYoung?
DeYoung line: Yes...
This is Dr. Decker.
DeYoung Line: Okay...
We have compared your recent MRI with the one you had a few months back for headaches...
DeYoung line: Okay...
We found a small growth on your pituitary gland
DeYoung line: Okay...
It's possible that we are dealing with a pituitary tumor
DeYoung line: Okay...
I would like you to meet with an Endocrinologist, and a Neurologist that specializes in this....
DeYoung line: Okay...
Our office will consult with Dr. Tannerz (Neurologist) to discuss further recommendations...we will call you back Wednesday with an appointment.
DeYoung line: Okay...
Do you object to traveling to Ann Arbor to meet with a Dr?
DeYoung line: No...
DeYoung line: Am I going to die???
I don't think so; it is very small...there have been no significant changes in the size of this in the last 4 months. Do you have any other questions.....?
DeYoung line: No, Happy New Year!


I think I was in shock, what do you think? I'm still in shock.....AND I will keep everyone updated.


2007 Life Lesson's!
1. Green Grass may not be worth the water bill!

2. 5 kids is more work & more REWARDING than I ever thought.

3. Family can shock you...both in good ways and bad.

4. Halloween rain STINKS.

5. Long hair is easier for me, but short hair would be easier on my girls.

6. The Allendale community rocks.

7. Sometimes it takes a crisis to find out who your friends are.

8. God is GOOD!
9. My son who has CP is the most athletic....go figure!

10. It's OK to cry over spilled milk!!!!


December 29
Writing....my new therapy!
Writing is and probably always will be my outlet. I write when I'm happy, excited, pissed, emotionally drained, overwhelmed and overjoyed. Today, I'm not sure what I feel...but I know that I need to but the computer down and clean my house, so for now that is all the writing that I will do. I thought that I would leave you with a quote from Dawson "My Birthday is in 6 days mom, and all I want is to go to crazy bounce"! "Unless, it is like $10 to get in, than you could just get me a dirt bike instead"! I LOVE that boy!


December 28
Update...I'm BACK to bloggin'!
Update:

There isn't much I remember about the few days and weeks immediately following my recent Epilepsy diagnosis. Maybe that's shock, maybe it's mercy, I don't know but these last few days and weeks are pretty foggy. I do remember focusing on the tiniest things - I remember things that were previously low on my priority list have become burning-hot important to me. And not the typical stuff that you'd think would become important - like contacting people you haven't talked to in a while or pre-planning the funeral menu, but odd things. Things like making sure that I have stamps in the house. Making sure that the kids all have clean PJ's for the next "emergency". AND mostly writing this letter to Thank and acknowledge those that I love and hold dear.

I remember following the first seizure thinking.....I’m so tired. Yes that is all I thought for a LONG while.You know that tired when you are so tired that all you can think about is being tired? So tired. Tired like only a really tired person can be. So tired that the only word I could think of for tired was tired. So tired that when I thought of not being tired it tired me out. I recall certain moments of everyday in the Intensive Care Unit very vividly....but mostly all days blurred together. I recall seeing my Dad at the foot of my bed, and thinking "Holy Crap, If HE is here, I'm dying". I recall seeing my mom cry, my nurses cry, my husband cry, some friends cry, and thinking "am I suppose to be crying over something too" But to be honest, mostly I recall the generosity and kindness of friends and complete strangers alike.

Life after, will be forever changed. Initially, I'm still in shock, still fuzzy and still trying to make sense of everything. I have simply tried to hold on. I look for little things that will keep me going. I can’t believe life will ever be normal or good again so for now, I just hope. It’s too much to believe I’ll ever really feel good again. That I will recall the year, without thinking about it for 30 seconds....that I will again laugh with abandon, make dinner for company, So I simply hold on. What choice do I have?

I know one day I will wake up and it will be done. I will have gotten through it. Gotten through the emotion of all of it.
Unexplainable, but I know that will happen. I know that when my kids go to bed, I try to be more patient with the extra potty runs, water requests, and millions of questions.....I know that I kissed the bridge of Aleigha's nose today...she laughed and I thought how perfect that was. I know that I have studied all their faces, making sure that I appreciate every curve on all of them. (Did you know that Cole has 3 moles on his back????) I know that I try to smile at them more than I frown, and I know that I don't ever want to be away from them for that long again! I know that I have been simply amazed by the courage my husband has demonstrated. I've always known that I've loved him, and now I have more reasons why. I know that my friends and family love me, and I know that I'm thankful for more people than I could begin to list.

My children were provided for, my cupboards were stocked with groceries, my phone bill was paid, we were given a cell phone to borrow and given one to keep as well. My children had sleep-overs (FUN ones too!!!!), and hugs from other mommies....my pets were fed & all my laundry was done. I was rarely alone, and well taken care of by my closest friends and family. I was added to prayer chains across MI...and fundraisers were done in my name. Friends used sick days and vacation days to stay with me at the hospital and some to stay home and call around for help for our family.

Today more than ever, I realize how humbling the kindness of complete strangers can be. It's overwhelming enough to have friends and family go the extra mile, say a little prayer, stop by for a visit, pay a bill or wash a load of towels...BUT when complete strangers rally to help your family, it's breathtaking. Our children were blessed with the best Christmas they have EVER known. TRULY by the complete generosity of strangers!!!!

Christmas Eve, we had a knock on the door....we peaked outside and to our amazement we watched 5 mini vans pull in. Families from St. Luke's Catholic Church poured into our house, and piled presents under our tree; gathered in the front yard and sang gorgeous Christmas carols. I have never been more in "shock" in my entire life. I stood in the house, holding Blake and cried tears like I have NEVER cried before. I watched the excitement in my children's young faces and cried harder. Just as I began to recover and the "angels" left....Friends arrived, (yes, more "angels") with yet another mini-van full of joy, and gifts. We were informed that a family from St. John Vianney adopted our children for the holidays! We learned of gifts that were driven here from Saginaw. We were given gift cards for groceries and gas, cash from fundraisers and even a generous donation from a mailman. A young girl had a pop can drive and sold "Christmas puppy-chow" to deliver an envelope with $38.00 to our family. Can you say "Blessed"! Just yesterday, we received another check in the mail from someone whom I later learned redeemed vacation time to help us out.

I'm still in shock, I'm sure I left something MAGICAL out, and positive that I could go on and on!! (Did I mention that my Dad who lives on the other side of the state made 3 trips here, one simply to provide some money to us for help??)

I went to the Dr. yesterday where I learned that I may not be returning to work for awhile. I have been told that I can't/shouldn't drive until at least May/June. I've had 2 seizures since returning home, waking up is still frightening. I'm returning to the Epilepsy clinic in January for 5 days, more studies, more tests, hopefully more answers! I've gone from taking 15 pills at bedtime to 10. Some days I feel like I've gone from 30yrs young to 85yrs old in the last 3 weeks. Mostly, I just feel thankful to be here to type, happy to be a mom, wife, daughter, friend, niece, neighbor to such wonderful people.

Please know that every gesture is/was appreciated. Every phone call, every dinner, every bag of groceries, every BABYSITTER for my children, every hug given to me, BUT mostly to my husband, mom and children who were hurting sooo much, every visit (even if I slept through it, sorry.) every donation, every prayer...every tear, every gift, EVERYTHING done in kindness to myself & my family is appreciated and will never go unforgotten.

Happy New Year everyone........God Bless. Kendrah